We all have triggers. Some triggers take us back to a fond memory or a time of deep happiness. Other triggers can bring up past trauma. There is no way of predicting what might trigger those energy bundles buried deep in our bodies. But we know when they appear as an emotional response. We recognize the feeling.
October 7, 2023, triggered that emotional response in me with the horrific happenings in Israel and Palestine. Not that I have ever faced rockets, bombs, or people with guns out to kill me, but rather the senseless killing of ordinary people. People who lived side by side for years. People who want to live, care for their families, and enjoy life. People on both sides who only want peace, just like you and me.
As I watched both the mainstream and alternative media, I once again felt the pain of being torn apart by the feeling that I had to take a side. That I couldn’t feel for both. The media was once more telling me what to think and who was right and wrong.
This was the same that happened in 1990 with the Gulf War in Kuwait. At the time, I was working in Kuwait but was out of the country when the war started and couldn’t go back. I had many friends in Kuwait: Kuwaitis, Palestinians, Syrians, Jordanians, Lebanese and as well as Western and Asian friends. As I sat in the staffroom in Malta, listening to my colleagues rip apart the warring sides, all I could think about was my friends who were hostages, killed, tortured, hiding or walking across the desert to escape. As I said in my book, My Backpack Was My Home, “I was angry and hurt by their opinions. I had trouble understanding their point of view. I felt alone and isolated.”
Those emotional triggers rose within me. I was angry again, not at any side but at the war machine behind both sides and the media using another war to pull us apart. There is talk about peace, but peace doesn’t sell.
I have come a long way from that woman in Malta in 1990. Today, I have the wisdom to sit with those heavy emotions, feeling them once more, not pushing them away or minimizing them. It’s okay for me to deeply feel each feeling, breathe deeply and let them go. I have Qigong to calm, ground and bring me back to my source. I also have friends who understand.
Most times, I can be the silent observer, neither accepting nor rejecting, but emotions arise when I see senseless killing.
As we go through these troubling times, be gentle with yourself. Stop and let yourself feel whatever comes up. When we can face these feelings, they will fade. Turn off the news! Don’t let anyone tell you what to think or believe. Find a practice that helps you ground and takes you away from the world back into yourself. Feel the feeling of you.
If you want to try Qigong, reach out to me.
With Love and gratitude
Carolynne