When writing my book, “When My Backpack Was My Home,” I had a deep insight into the idea of life lessons. I came to an understanding that there were no life lessons.
What triggered that thought was the concept that ‘life lessons’ implied a right or wrong way to live. That one way of living was good while the other wasn’t. As I reflected on my life, I saw several times when this idea of a right or wrong way to live caused me tremendous suffering. With this insight, I let the idea percolate within me.
Questions arose: Who decided what was a life lesson? Who could say that what was right for them was right for me? Where did this idea of life lessons come from? Why was my way of living being judged as frivolous and self-indulgent? If there weren’t life lessons, then what was life all about?
Gradually, I came to realize life was NOT about lessons but experiences.
Each experience, whether deemed good or bad, helps us expand and grow. They help us to find our profound truths. For example, a wonderful trip to Greece revealed the unhappiness within me, which led to a difficult decision to walk away from a marriage and open the way to a new life.
So-called negative experiences can reveal our inner strength, ingenuity and creativity, as it did when I sat crying in a house in Nigeria, wondering what the heck I was thinking when I agreed to be there.
So-called positive experiences can open doors to new possibilities and opportunities which we never knew existed. My first trip to Kenya yielded a glimpse into the world and a new way of being, which I never imagined was possible.
None of these experiences were lessons. They were the only experiences that revealed my true capabilities.
The ability to trust myself. To believe in myself. To expand and grow with each experience in ways that were true to my nature. To discover my creativity, resilience and strength. It gave me the confidence to say “NO” when asked to do things contrary to my inner truths.
I no longer look at others for approval.
I can be me, ready and willing for more experiences to keep expanding and growing into the light of my being.
What about you?
Can you look back on all your life experiences and see how it has helped you grow and expand? Are you ready to let go of the concept of life lessons? Are you open to continuing to expand and grow?
With Love and gratitude
Carolynne